Healing Out Loud

I've been on a spiritual quest since I was a child. I knew I was "different" from the time I was 3. Overly sensitive to words, vibrations, emotions and thoughts/feelings, it felt like I was in some kind of foreign land where I spoke a different language than those around me. I was called to nature, called to the natural beauty of the trees, forests, mountains, streams and every single thing with fur or feathers. I remember being aware of Jesus, even though my family was not "religious." I was fascinated by mythology as a young child. I felt a "connection" something "out there," but of course had no idea what "it" was.

I was born into a family that had a long history of domestication issues, and as I struggled to keep myself walled off from the kind of curated crazy around me, I felt myself building bigger, tougher walls and deeper, wider moats to block out the negative energy and emotional battery that surrounded me at all times. Eventually, I ended up in one bad, dark place after another where I not only learned how to heap abuse on myself, but those around me as well.

I was 26 before I realized that if I didn't take strides to get off the crazy ride that was my life, I would never find the beauty, compassion, kindness, and love that I wanted so desperately. Although I had always, ALWAYS felt "spirit" and "spiritual connection" to something bigger than myself, I never had any guidance to help me find my way. At 14 I discovered the "metaphysical section" at the Milwaukee public library, and that is where my journey began (we didn't have internet in 1981) but it wasn't until I had my first child in 1991 that I began to really, truly understand how broken I was inside.

This blog is about sharing what I went through - and am still going through - as a fellow human traveller on a really chaotic planet just trying to find my way back to the Source, because I know, without a doubt, that there are millions more of you out there, just like me. Maybe by sharing with each other we can gain new understanding and discover new insights to help us find our way a little easier, a littler more quickly, and not so "all alone.

Last year I asked THE UNIVERSE (aka God) to help me on my journey, by bringing new people into my life. Helpers, guides, healers, coaches, leaders, trainers - I asked for it ALL - and boy, has The Universe delivered! Many have not come in forms I expected. Some of the people who have helped me the most over the last year are decades younger than me and look nothing like I would have expected them to look. But they have been incredible, and made a huge, enormous difference in my life. It occurred to me the other day that we often ask for signs/help/guidance and then don't accept it, because it doesn't show up in the form or way we expected.

So here is the first thing I want to share with you, and maybe one of the most important lessons of my life this far - don't ask The Universe for help, and then question the form the help comes in!

I am not alone on this journey. I live with my amazing husband, Randy, our son Jake, and our fur babies Skunk and Mousetrap. You will hear/read me talking about all of them, because they are why I get up everyday and the glue that holds my world together (but in a really good, healthy way)!

I invite you to share in my journey, and to share your own journey through comments and connection. May Peace be with you, may Love surround you and may you find exactly what is is you're looking for! Namaste!